Yesterday I was thinking about myself 1 year ago and boy how things have changed! Prior to my pregnancy I knew I wanted a baby but I was afraid that I was too selfish of a person ever to love a baby more than myself. In my mind, having a baby meant sacrifices not only monetarily but emotionally and physically as well. I was convinced that I wouldn't be half the mom my mother is. I remember thinking "Gosh, it will really suck when I have a kid and I can't buy the new shoes I want because the baby needs diapers" or "Hmmm, having a kid will really cut into my social life." Hearing those thoughts now makes me cringe. I am embarrassed to admit that I once thought like that!! Even without ever meeting my little one I know without a doubt my baby will come first in my life. I can't wait until the baby is here so I can spend my time home with the baby seeing all his/her milestones first hand. I now envision my Saturday nights with Jason and I sitting in our living room, with the TV in the background, playing with baby. What a far cry for our Saturday nights a year ago! The funny thing is, given the choice, I would gladly sit at home with our baby vs. going to a bar (well, that is on a regular basis.....never say never!). In a way it makes me sad that I was too self centered to see that loving someone else more than yourself provides a better satisfaction in life.
I might not be as great of a mother as my mom but I know without a doubt I will give my all to making my baby's life as wonderful and safe as possible! Only 75 days until the baby is here!
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