Wednesday, September 15, 2010

She's Like A Puppy, Only Better

There are quite a few similarities between having a baby and a puppy.  Macy follows me around everywhere I go.  But instead of walking she crawls behind me.  And as I type this she is chewing on my couch cushion.  Earlier, I caught her chewing on my purse.  Just like a puppy.

I bet you're thinking, yeah, but she doesn't poop on the floor.  Oh, but she has.  About a month or so ago, she took her diaper off AND POOPED ON THE FLOOR.  Another time, she had such a big explosion in her pants her diaper failed and there was poopy on my floor.  I even snapped a picture.....

Am I a horrible mother for taking a picture instead of cleaning her up?  Well, I felt really bad about taking this picture because about 0.746 seconds later she stuck her hand in the poop.  In hindsight, I probably should have cleaned her up.  Ehh, oh well.  Now I have a picture for her memory book :)

She is also like a puppy in that she gets SUPER excited when I talk to her in a happy, high pitched voice. Just like a dog would.  If she had a tail, it would wag.  She also licks my face to show her appreciation.  It's her special way of saying I love you.  

But she is so much better than a puppy.  He smiles make my day and her laughs are infectious.  There is no better feeling than having her reach her arms up at me with a big toothy grin.  I have never been so proud of something in my life.  It's amazing to see her learn new things everyday.  Today she discovered how to whisper.  So she has spent most of the day whispering "da-da".  And I have spent most of my day tearing up watching her enthusiastically discover the world.  

Monday, September 13, 2010

Well, Hello Blog....

Yes, it's been awhile.  I am a bad blogger.  But I promise to be more frequent in my posting.  A lot has happened in the World of Macy in the past month and I am kicking myself for not chronicling it.  Here's a quick recap, Macy is crawling like crazy, she hates naps and her car seat and she claps every time she's happy.  Ahh, it's such a exciting time watching her grow up.  She is a happy little soul.

Anyway, here are a few pics I have snapped of her over the last month....

And for old times sake, here's a picture that makes me smile....

But I will be posting more often.  Promise.  So stay tuned!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Catch a Baby by its Toe.....

Since Macy is getting older, she is becoming increasingly mobile.  It's exciting to see her make all her milestones but it's also a sad reminder that she is growing up quickly.  Too quickly.  She is on the go every second she is awake.......even during diaper changes  ::sigh::  And today, I was forced to grab my baby by her foot as she was crawling away from me diaper less and covered in poop.

Ever since I brought Macy home from the hospital I have been changing her diapers on our bed.  The diaper changing table I bought for her nursery still sits unpacked in its box waiting to be returned to Target.  I have never assembled it nor have I ever missed it.  It's just more convenient to change her diapers on our bed with a water proof pad underneath her.  We have had a few mishaps over the last 8 months but nothing like today.......

I was feeding Macy her breakfast when I saw an intense look of concentration come over her.  I knew it could only mean one thing........she was leaving me a gift in her diaper.  Nice.  First thing in the morning nonetheless.  So, I carefully got her out of her highchair (because sometimes she leaves me a really big gift that can seep out the sides of the diaper) and brought her to my bedroom so I could change her diaper.  As soon as I got her poop filled diaper off she rolled over and took off crawling like a bat out of hell.  And she was covered in poop.  OMG.  In one hand, I had an impressive poopy diaper that was loaded to the max and the other hand was trying to catch my poop covered baby from brushing up against my pillows, my headboard, my sheets and/or the remote control.  All I could do was reach out and grab her foot and yell "no baby!!".  OMG, she screamed like she was suffering real abuse.  She wanted no part of the diaper change and she voiced her displeasure.  It in no way bothered her that she was covered in poop.  

So I reluctantly put down the poopy diaper, even though I didn't have a chance to fold it properly so the poop would not be exposed.  And I reached over and grabbed my diaper less, poop covered daughter so I could clean her up.  This is when the real crying started.  I think it's safe to say that this was Macy's first full on temper tantrum.  OMG, did she yell.  The more I wiped her butt the louder she screamed.  Finally, I got a clean diaper on her but not after having to use some wrestling techniques in order to hold her still.  Once her diaper was on I picked her up and she stopped yelling.  It was like nothing had happened.  

But whoa, I have never seen her cry like that.  I have heard from other toddler moms that diaper changes are when the meltdowns happen in their house.  If today was just a glimpse of what is yet to come, then someone please invent the DVD's series called "You Baby Can Use the Potty".  I want to hear about 3 month olds who use the potty unassisted on infomercials late at night.  I would gladly fork over $250 at 3:30 AM for that DVD series and be done with diaper changes all together.  

Who would have ever thought the child with this sweet little face could tun into such a monster in 2 seconds flat?

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why I'm Never Drinking Again.....

I've decided that I'm never drinking again.  After my experience on Saturday, I'm throwing in the towel and giving up drinking for good.  BTW, I say this periodically and inevitably I wind up drinking again.  Umm, yikes, with that last statement it sounds like I am a alcoholic trying to kick the habit.  But the truth is I hardly ever drink and when I do it's not very much.  Therefore, it's easy for me to get a little tipsy.  

Anyway, here's my story.  Nothing too exciting but I learned my lesson......

Every once in a while I have a day where I hit overload.  It doesn't happen too often (maybe once a month) but when it does, I need find a way to unwind.  Well, my overload day was Friday.  Macy and I ran errands, had a play date and went to the vet with one of our dogs (which BTW, is close to impossible to try hold a baby and control a dog by yourself.  But I managed......just barely, but I managed).  We planned to have a few friends over that night so I had the added stress of making sure the house was "company ready" and making sure we had enough food to feed everyone.  

By the time 7:30 rolled around (Macy's bedtime) I was looking forward to some kid free time.  Well, wouldn't you know that would be the night that Macy would fight sleep.  I guess it was my fault.  Since we had such a busy day prior, her nap time got moved back a few hours which screwed everything up.  Her schedule was blown and I was going to pay for it.  Ugh.  1.5 hours later, Macy finally gave up and feel asleep.  It was 9 PM and I had completely neglected my house guests.  I was ready for a drink.  

I guess it was my frazzled nerves that made me feel so daring, but I had three glasses of wine that night.  I was having such a good time acting like a normal person rather than a mom.  The wine went down easy and I knew I was going to pay for it come Saturday morning.  Thankfully I stopped myself at three glasses but could have easy gone for more.  I had a pretty good buzz but I remember my 7:30 AM wake up call from Miss Macy.  I knew if I didn't stop there I was going to be miserable.  So as a preemptive measure I took and Advil, had a sip of water and  prayed that my hangover would be kind to me in the morning.  

Come 3:30 AM I woke up DYING of thirst.  So I reluctantly got out of bed and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.  I took a swig and instantly felt the heaviness from the cold water in my stomach.  Ugh.  Great.  So I sat in bed for two hours debating on whether I should throw up or not.  You know that feeling after you have been drinking, right?  You have an internal debate regarding the pros and cons of throwing up.  And it takes total concentration not to burst into a violent puking attack.  "Maybe I would be lucky, puke one time, find instant relief, and wake up feeling like a million bucks" OR "I could open the flood gates and puke my brains out for hours on end.  Instead of waking up feeling like a million bucks the only thing I would wake up to was sore abs and a hangover."  Finally I feel asleep at 5:30 without puking.  

I am upset to say that I did not wake up at 7:30 feeling like a million buck but at least I didn't have sore abs either.  I just felt like shit.  And apparently, that Advil I took before bed did nothing but send my liver into overdrive because I had a wicked headache.  

Thankfully, it was a Saturday and Jason was kind enough to take over baby duty while I slept the first half of the morning.  I honestly don't know what I would have done had he been at work.  Unfortunately stay at home moms don't get a sick day.  

So from here on out, I swear to Gawd, I am never drinking again.  

And here is my obligatory picture of Macy!  She is such a happy baby..... 

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Scratch That, My Kid WILL Eat!

I am proud to say that I have a eater on my hands!  I don't know what happened but she woke up Monday morning and decided that food is good.  I didn't post earlier about my excitement because I was afraid I might jinx it.  But now that we are going on Thursday, and she has had four successful days of EATING FOOD, I feel it's safe to announce it to the world (or to the two people who actually read this blog) - MY KID EATS SOLID FOOD!  

I am so incredibly excited, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  And now the doctor won't report me to CPS because she is convinced I am starving my child.  

But there is one tiny problem.  And it's a problem with me, not Macy.  I am a control freak and I am having the hardest time letting Macy explore feeding herself.  Like, I have to restrain myself from wiping her down every 10 seconds because food is smeared on her face or ::gasp:: on her hand and who knows what she will touch.  Honestly, I pace around her high chair and sometimes I have to even excuse myself to the next room just to resist the urge to give her a good wipe down.  Am I crazy?  Am I the only mom who fights these urges?  I see plenty of other pictures of babies covered in food on other blogs or Facebook.  Do their mom's not have mini panic attacks while they're eating?  Surely, I can't be the only one?  

OMG, and why do they make fabric covered high chairs?  The only thing I can think about while Macy is eating (other than, OMG my kid is finally eating solid food) is please, please, please don't touch the fabric with your gooey hands.  I know this is ridiculous because what is the worst thing that happens?  She makes a mess, gets the fabric nasty and I have to stick it through the washer.  So what?  This rationale doesn't sound so rational as she is making a mess.  Yeah, I am cra-zzzzyyyyy.  

I know most of you are thinking I am ridiculous and on this, I would say you're right.  But I promise, I let my girl eat and I don't bother her.  I only wipe her down after she has finished eating.  But in the mean time, I have to practice self control.  I know, I have issues, this is something that will just take some getting used to.

Check out how cute she is.  Even if food is smeared all over her face.  BTW, she eats naked because I think worrying about getting her outfit messy on top of the fabric on the highchair would send me into a tailspin......

Happy baby.....

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Party Planning Mode!!

Even though Macy's first birthday is over four months away, I have already started planning.  I love planning parties.  Planning my wedding was one of my most enjoyable experiences.  I just hate paying for parties.  Unlike my wedding, my parents won't be footing the bill (or for any of my parties in the future).  And unfortunately for Macy, her mother decided to quit her job so she could stay home with her so her parents are broke.  Which means I will have many DIY projects in my future.  Just so you know, I loathe DIY projects.  I would just rather pay someone for what I need.  But since we are down to one income, I don't have that luxury.  Even on a shoestring budget and many DIY projects, I am still looking forward to planning her first birthday.  

I have not decided on a theme yet.  I am torn between ladybugs or monkeys.  What I am sure of is the colors, which will be lime green, fuchsia and bubble gum pink.  I know you are wondering how I can pull off this color scheme with a ladybug theme, but I thought black and red was kinda "blah" for a 1 year old's birthday.  I found a picture of a cake that is more or less serving as my inspiration for the ladybug theme.....

Isn't this cake freakin' awesome?!  Yeah, I am sure the price tag is hefty as well.  But I have a friend Mindy who lives in Tampa started making cakes as a hobby.  Well, it turns out Mindy really has a knack for this stuff and has recently opened up her own caking making business.  While it's not feasible for her to make Macy's cake, she has agreed to make the fondant decorations and ship them to me so I can add them to a cake I buy here locally in Texas.  

And if I decided to go with the monkey theme, I was thinking something like this would be cute for the cake topper......

For decorations, I have decided to make some tissue paper pomanders to hang from the ceiling.  This is A LOT more time consuming that I thought it would be.  Really, I would like to pay a florist for pomanders made of real flowers but I am oh-so broke and that's not an option.  Surprisingly, the pomanders have turned out better than I expected.  I plan on making 3 lime, 3 fuchsia, and 3 bubble gum pink.  Good thing I have four months until the party because I think I will need all that time to complete this project.  So far I have completed one green pomander and it took me about a 4 hours to complete.  But I have plenty of time and no money so it's my only option......

Not bad, right?  The color is a tad off in this pic so the pomander is not really dayglo green.  Now, I just have 8 more pomander to make......or 32 hours.  

Of course, no party would be complete with out the birthday girl decked out in her best birthday outfit.  I am planning on getting Miss Macy a tutu.  I think this will be the only birthday that it will be acceptable for her to wear one.  So what the hell, why not??!  Check out how cute this tutu is......

Of course, she would need to wear leggings underneath since her birthday is in December.  

Speaking of December, I hate that her birthday is right smack dab in the middle of the holiday season.  December 8th.  Ugh.  Poor girl.  So since both my family and Jason's family will be out for Thanksgiving, I think we are going to have her birthday party that Saturday after Thanksgiving.......11 days early.  Ehh, she won't know the difference but I really want her Grandparents to be able to partake in her birthday festivities.  

It's hard to believe that I am planning my baby's first birthday  ::tear::

Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Kid Won't Eat

Macy is seven and a half months old and still isn't eating solid foods.  Well, wait.  I take that back.  She will  eat ice cream, popsicles and crackers.  Some diet, right?  But seriously, I need her to start eating.  I can only imagine the talking to I am going to get when I take her back to the Pediatrician for her nine month appointment.  At this point she should be eating three meals a day.  

I try.  I swear I do.  Every chance I get I try to get her to eat.  I have taken every approach under the sun for her to eat.  I have tried making home made baby food, I have tried Gerber baby food, I have tried Sprout baby food, baby puffs, yogurt, fresh steamed veggies, purees, you name it, I have tried it.  I have tried feeding her with a spoon, letting her feed herself, having Jason feed her, strangers, and still nothing works. Ugh.  I am at a loss.  What do I do?!  

I recently bought yogurt drinks and she takes those just fine from a bottle.  She enjoys the various flavors but she has ABSOLUTELY no interest in anything that doesn't come from a bottle.  I feel horrible as a mother when I hear other moms talk about how their kid is a porker and would eat the house if they could. Macy is growing and meeting her developmental milestones but at some point her refusal to eat will become an issue.  

I keep hoping that tomorrow will be the day that she makes the decision to eat solid food.  So please send all your food eating vibes Macy's way.

Eat baby, eat!

Friday, July 23, 2010

My Little Monkey.

Macy has decided that she wants me to hold her all of the time.  She has also decided that when I try to put her down, if she latches on tight and holds on for dear life I can't physically part from her.  Her feet will be touching the couch, bed, floor, whatever I am trying to put her down on but her arms are wrapped tightly around me.  Her grip is that of caveman strength and there is no getting away.  

She's so smart.  She's figured out that I think it's cute and I'll pick her back up and cover her in kisses.  It's nice feeling wanted but I am not sure how much longer I will think it's "cute".  Sometimes I really do need to part from her, like when I need to go to the bathroom or brush my teeth.  Side note - yesterday I did manage to pee with her in my arms.  Maybe TMI but I was impressed by my coordination skills that took and thought maybe you would be too.  

But seriously, how can I part from such a cute face?!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Weekend Recap: The White Trash Bash and our Trip to the Beach

On Saturday we spent a lazy day outside enjoying the beautiful South Texas weather.  Jason decided to BBQ a brisket (which is an all day affair) while the baby and I played outside.  Since it was that kinda day, Jason and I decided to have a few adult beverages even if it was only 1 PM in the afternoon.  I was just about to pour my second glass of wine when reality hit and I burst into laughter.  OMG, if someone had taken a snapshot of my life, at that exact moment, I would have looked like a white trash hillbilly.  Here I was, at 1 PM, hanging out in my barn, holding the baby on my hip (who was in a diaper), trying to open my bottle of Boone's Farm Sangria, so I could pour it into my cup and drink it through a straw.  Did you get all that?!  Holy shit, taken out of context that sounds bad.  Really bad.  

But really, I can explain.  We like to BBQ.  And the only place to hang outside in the shade is in one of our many barns.  Oh, and I hardly ever drink.  But the mood struck me right and I decided to have a drink, even though it was only 1 PM.  The baby was in a diaper because it was too damn hot out for her to wear clothes.  Shit, if it would have been acceptable for me to take off my clothes I would have too.  It was that hot.  She was on my hip because she refused to let me put her down.  I know, I know, spare me the lecture on why I shouldn't hold my child all the time.  But I wanted to enjoy my afternoon and not listen to her cry.  And if holding her ensures that she won't fuss then that's what I'll do :)  

Ok, this is where I might loose some people.  Boone's Farm Sangria is my wine of choice.  No, I am not forced to drink this because we are that broke since I quit my job.  I actually prefer this Sangria to others.  Even if it comes in a twist off bottle and it is $2.49.  Hard to believe, I know.  The only other people who buy Boone's Farm are drunk high school kids who will drink anything cheap and fruity.  But seriously, give it a try sometime.  Other than the raging hangover you will get the next day, you would ever know the difference.  Don't believe me?  Well, if you have ever come to my house and have enjoyed my "homemade sangria" I just want you to know that it's really Boone's Farm.  I put it in a fancy glass pitcher, add some sprite and fresh cut fruit and it's "Kathy's Homemade Sangria".  Looks good, right?

On Sunday Jason, the baby, our dog and I all headed to the beach.  It was a great day.  I was a tad worried that the baby wouldn't be a good sport since she is teething but she had a blast and hardly fussed.  The beach in Texas doesn't compare to the beaches that we are accustomed to in Florida.  But it's a beach nonetheless.  And if you squint real hard, you hardly notice the trash.  Or the oil rigs in the skyline.  Or dead crabs that were washed up on the beach.  Where the crabs came from, I don't know.  I don't know if I do want to know.  

Look at all the trash.  Isn't it heartbreaking :(

And that structure you see in the sky line is an oil rig.  What an eyesore.

And a dead crab :(

But like I said before if you squint real hard the beach is beautiful.  I vow to start going more often.

And then this guy was a total monster.  

He may be old but he found his youthful energy yesterday at the beach.  He thought it was great fun to run through our beach blanket wet and full of sand.  The baby thought he was hilarious.  I didn't.  And I don't know if it were the gallons salt water he drank (despite the many times he was shown his water bowl.......with fresh water) or the Whataburger he ate on the way to the beach but this dog had horrible gas.  And it made for a long ride home.  

Check out how cute Miss Macy was.  She is such a beach baby.  

As soon as we got home, I put Macy in a bubble bath to get the sunscreen, sand and salt water off her.  She was full of smiles and happy to be back in the water.

Isn't she precious?!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Since I haven't done a photography post in awhile.....

Well, I haven't done ANY posts in awhile.  But I have about two weeks worth of pictures to share.  I will spare you the picture overload and only share some of my favorites  :)  Boy, this is gonna be hard.  Not because my photographs are high quality but because any picture with Macy in it is my favorite.....

We are back from the Bahamas!

Ahh, it's been a long time.  Man, I have REALLY neglected this ol' blog in the last few weeks.  But I can explain my absence.  Well, ok, I can explain half of my absence.  For a week I was in the Bahamas with Miss Macy.  And the other week I took off from blogging?  Umm, I just didn't feel like posting.  I had stuff to say but I was just too lazy to sit down and type it out.  Please forgive me, ok?  Ha, well, it's not like anyone reads this blog anyway.  It's more or less a baby book for Macy.  Ok, a R rated baby book but it's still a baby book nonetheless.  

Anyway, we arrived back from the Bahamas on Sunday evening and whew, I am still effing exhausted.  We had a great time but boy-oh-boy my girl is a lot of work.  Unfortunately, Jason was not able to go with us because he needed to stay back to work :(  This was decided at the last minute (like, the day before left) but Macy and I still went as planned.  Let me tell you, taking care of a baby all by yourself is a challenge.  Like, a BIG challenge.  Thankfully, there were only one or two times where I thought I wanted to bash my head into the wall.  Sounds dramatic?  Maybe it is, but caring for an infant for days on end without a break will drive you to craziness.  

Anyway, Macy loved the water.  She had the best time splashing around in the ocean and the pool.  But her greatest discovery?  The sand......and how to take her diaper off.  But that's another story for another time.  Anyway, Macy was mesmerized by the sand.  It's great seeing the world for the first time through a child's eyes, ya know?  She would grab a fistful of sand and watch it slip out of her hands in pure amazement.  Her expression was priceless.  She had a baffled look and I could see the confusion in her eyes wondering where the sand had disappeared to.  So what did she do when she discovered her hand that was once full of sand was empty?  Grab some more sand and the process repeated itself.  She was having a great time until she made her next discovery that sand in the mouth isn't much fun.  But even that didn't detour her love for the beach.

My poor girl looked like such a geek dressed up in her beach attire.  I lathered her up in so much SPF 85 sunscreen (believe it or not, they really do make sunscreen that high) that her skin glistened.  Read between the lines.....that's just a nice way of saying she looked like a greasy infant who desperately needed a bath.  Of course, I put the most ridiculous hats on her to protect her little scalp from burning.  And to top it off, I squeezed her into her the most adorable bathing suits that were probably a tad too small.  She really could have used a size up.  But she looked oh-so-cute!  The too small bathing suits accentuated her little pot belly just right.   ::squeeze::  Pot belly's are cute on her.  Just not on me.  

Check out how cute she is dressed and ready for a day at the beach.......

Check out her fat roll under her right arm.  OMG, I die.  

And of course, no trip to the beach would be complete without a picture of tiny little toes in the sand.....

I am looking forward to one day soon going back to the Bahamas.  Just next time, Daddy will be in tow.  Not just so we will have a family vacation but also because he is an obligated baby sitter ;)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I Love Staying at Home

Prior to having Macy, I fully intended on going back to work.  The thought of becoming a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) was overwhelming and I thought I honestly wasn't cut out for it.  No-way, I NEEDED adult interaction.  Plus I didn't go through 4 years of college to sit at home, ya know? But the biggest motivator for me to continue working was the whole paycheck thing.  I liked money too much to quit my job.  I mean, how could I walk away from that money?!  So yeah, the pre-baby Kathy planned on being a working mom and sending her newborn baby off to daycare.  Seemed completely acceptable, right?

Wrong.  I had my baby and I feel head over heels in love.  And my "plan" of going back to work was not so acceptable anymore.  I didn't care if we had to live in a box, I did not want to leave my newborn.  Every single day of my maternity leave I cried thinking about returning to work.  I begged, no, pleaded with Jason to let me quit.  But he wanted to be responsible, save up more money, get some things in order, and then, maybe 6 months down the road we would revisit the idea of me becoming a SAHM  ::rolls eyes::  What??  6 months?!?  Umm, yeah, don't be ridiculous and try to claim you are being responsible.  There is no way I can continue working.  Like it's physically impossible for me.  I think I might die if I return to work.  Really.  Like I'll DIE.

But I did go back.  Reluctantly.  And like always when I don't get my way, I nagged Jason to death about quitting.  I bitched about working EVERY SINGLE chance I got.  And eventually, he got tired of hearing me complain and gave me the OK to quit.

So see, being a brat does pay off.......whoever says otherwise obviously didn't nag long enough.  Ha!  I'm joking,  Really, there was a lot more thought and rational put into the decision of me quitting.  I'm not really a brat.  Honest.  But I also don't deny that I used this bargaining method ;)

Once I got the OK to quit, I was ecstatic!  I couldn't wait to stay at home with Macy.  Finally!  I would be living the dream life.  I could get back in shape, dress my baby in cutesy smocked dresses with frilly hair bows and I could spend my days shopping.  I always envied moms who pushed their perfect babies in their expensive strollers while meeting their rich friends for lunch.  And OMG, I was finally going to become one of them!!!

And then it dawned on me........I just quit my job which meant we were broke.  I wouldn't have money to shop.  Reality was going to be nothing like my fantasy.  Besides, I had a cheap ass Graco stroller so I would never fit in with those moms I envied.

Reality sucks sometimes.  I would be lying if I said I didn't have any doubts about my decision to quit.  The grass is always greener, right?  What if I hated staying home?  What if I made a mistake quitting my job?  Then what?  I bitched so much about working that Jason might loose it if I told him I changed my mind.

So yeah, I was pretty nervous about becoming a SAHM.

We have made a lot of sacrifices for me to be a SAHM.  And it's been hard adjusting.  I wish we had more money.  I feel guilty that Jason works while I stay home with Macy.  But even so, I love staying at home and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.  All my fears (while they might be somewhat valid) are out weighed by reward I get from spending my days with Macy.  This is the best job I have ever had.  Go ahead, roll your eyes now.  I probably would too at the sappiness of that comment.  And even though I don't get paid monetarily, a price tag could never be put on what I get out of it.  Go ahead.  Roll your eyes again.

Who wouldn't want to spend their day with this........

Monday, June 28, 2010

I am Blessed.

While I might not have the the biggest house or a ton of money in the bank, none of those things matter.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Sometimes I forget to appreciate that.  Ugh.  I can get caught up in the little (albeit annoying) everyday trials.  And from time to time, I fixate on these things enough that they ruin my day, all the while ignoring the important things in life.

Last night at 2 AM I couldn't sleep so I decided to get up and search the internet.  I was completely expecting to waste my time on TMZ and read gossip about celebrities who have lost touch with all of reality.  Anyway, the world of celebrity gossip wasn't overly exciting so I just start searching random web pages.  I wasn't searching for anything in particular or worthwhile, I was just hoping I would tire myself out and eventually head back to bed.  But then I stumbled across this blog.  And it brought me to tears.  And I could not stop reading. 

If you have the time I recommend reading this woman's birth story of her second child.  This story touched me.  I hate to describe it as sad because it's far from that.  Maybe the word unexpected is more appropriate? And definitely beautiful.  I could picture myself in her shoes and it was heart wrenching.  It was the most honest story I have ever read and it changed my outlook on how I live my life.  I can't say that I can remember ever reading a story that affected me like this.  

It made me stop and think about my own life.  And I felt guilty for sometimes letting the insignificant, little things get in the way of appreciating how blessed I truly am.  I have a husband who loves me and who adores our daughter.  I have a baby who is happy and healthy.  We live comfortably and have all the tools for a happy life.  We just have to remember to stop and appreciate life.  And appreciate it often.  Because we only get one chance to live it.      

Since having Macy, I have learned to slow down and find joy in the most obvious places.  Like today, the sun was shining and the birds were singing.  Yes, it is 1 million degrees outside, but that didn't stop us lying in the yard and watching the clouds go by.  It was a beautiful day and fresh air never felt so good.  

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Are You Nuts?

This past weekend I was talking to Jason about plans for our upcoming Anniversary.  It's not until September but when you have a baby and no money you have to make plans waaaayyyyy in advance.  Anyway, I was talking about either making a trip to Port Aransas or South Padre Island, both of which would require an overnight hotel stay.  

I thought it was assumed that the trip would include all three of us, Jason, Macy and I.  Silly me.

Jason assumed that the trip would be just the two of us and he mentioned getting a baby sitter........for an overnight trip.  

My response was "Are you nuts?'  

We then got into a debate on why I thought it was the dumbest idea ever.  But he told me to reconsider it because eventually, at some point, I will have to spend a night away from the baby.  

So I thought about it......

Hmm, leaving the baby overnight?  I don't know.  That sounds scary.  But really, it shouldn't be too hard.  Maybe he has a point, I mean, I can't spend every night with the baby for the rest of my life.   We will only be sleeping under separate roofs and only for one night.  Come on, other mom's do it.  Why can't you?

And then I started to panic......

But what if something goes wrong?  What if she needs to go to the hospital and I am not there to be with her?  And she NEEDS her mom.  I am the only one who can successfully get her to sleep so it would be complete insanity to leave her overnight.  Both the baby sitter and Macy will be miserable.  Oh and so will I.  I will be so miserable I won't even enjoy my trip without her.  And I would probably cry.  And have a panic attack.  

So after I thought about it, I responded with "Are you effing nuts?  No we are not leaving the baby."

Looks like we will be making our anniversary trip a family affair......

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Sweetest Sound.

Every morning I am woken up to Macy cooing in her crib.  She isn't crying.  She isn't fussing for me to come get her.  She's just content playing in her crib by herself.  It's the sweetest sound.  I love waking up to her babbles each day.  I lay in my bed, with the sun just peaking in through the windows and listen to her squeal in delight for the new day.  As much as I am tempted to grab her and cuddle with her in my bed, I don't.  I let her enjoy her time alone.  There is something so precious about it.  And it warms my heart.  And I can't think of a better way to start my day.  

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

So now I know we are meant to be.

In case I had any questions that Jason wasn't Mr. Right, I now can't deny it.  We were totally meant to be.  And now I have proof.

Good thing......because we have a baby and all. 


Today I was going through Macy's room and I came across a gift that was given to my mom when I was a baby almost 30 years ago.  The gift was from my Uncle Paul and Aunt Linda from Ohio and it was a bonnet that was to be used at my baptism and then later at my wedding as a handkerchief.  

Well, it wasn't wasn't used for either.  Apparently my mom misplaced it and didn't find it until last December when I was about to deliver Macy.  So she gave it to me for my baby.  Probably so I can misplace it and give it to Macy on the eve of her baby's birth.......gotta keep the tradition alive.  

Anyway, I found the box and I was showing Macy (you know, because I was running out of stuff to entertain her with so I made a game up out of cleaning out her closet.  Hey, I am desperate, and there are only so many things to keep a 6 month old entertained all day).  The lettering on the box is kinda hard to make out......well, because it's been 30 years......see for yourself:

Upon closer inspection, something caught my eye.  Something significant:

This handkerchief was made in Derry, New Hampshire.  That's the small town that my husband was born in.  I had to Google it, but in 2009 Derry's population was only 22,000 people.  

Kinda bizarre right?!  So either this is a HUGE coincidence or it's a sign that Jason and I were meant to be together and have a baby.  Ummm, I don't know about you but I think this TOTALLY means we're soul mates!  

And I will leave you with a picture of the child that was meant to be.  Isn't she just precious?

Note:  I am completely kidding with all of this.  Honestly, I don't need a handkerchief to validate my marriage.  But it does help.......kidding again.