Prior to having Macy, I fully intended on going back to work. The thought of becoming a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) was overwhelming and I thought I honestly wasn't cut out for it. No-way, I NEEDED adult interaction. Plus I didn't go through 4 years of college to sit at home, ya know? But the biggest motivator for me to continue working was the whole paycheck thing. I liked money too much to quit my job. I mean, how could I walk away from that money?! So yeah, the pre-baby Kathy planned on being a working mom and sending her newborn baby off to daycare. Seemed completely acceptable, right?
Wrong. I had my baby and I feel head over heels in love. And my "plan" of going back to work was not so acceptable anymore. I didn't care if we had to live in a box, I did not want to leave my newborn. Every single day of my maternity leave I cried thinking about returning to work. I begged, no, pleaded with Jason to let me quit. But he wanted to be responsible, save up more money, get some things in order, and then, maybe 6 months down the road we would revisit the idea of me becoming a SAHM ::rolls eyes:: What?? 6 months?!? Umm, yeah, don't be ridiculous and try to claim you are being responsible. There is no way I can continue working. Like it's physically impossible for me. I think I might die if I return to work. Really. Like I'll DIE.
But I did go back. Reluctantly. And like always when I don't get my way, I nagged Jason to death about quitting. I bitched about working EVERY SINGLE chance I got. And eventually, he got tired of hearing me complain and gave me the OK to quit.
So see, being a brat does pay off.......whoever says otherwise obviously didn't nag long enough. Ha! I'm joking, Really, there was a lot more thought and rational put into the decision of me quitting. I'm not really a brat. Honest. But I also don't deny that I used this bargaining method ;)
Once I got the OK to quit, I was ecstatic! I couldn't wait to stay at home with Macy. Finally! I would be living the dream life. I could get back in shape, dress my baby in cutesy smocked dresses with frilly hair bows and I could spend my days shopping. I always envied moms who pushed their perfect babies in their expensive strollers while meeting their rich friends for lunch. And OMG, I was finally going to become one of them!!!
And then it dawned on me........I just quit my job which meant we were broke. I wouldn't have money to shop. Reality was going to be nothing like my fantasy. Besides, I had a cheap ass Graco stroller so I would never fit in with those moms I envied.
Reality sucks sometimes. I would be lying if I said I didn't have any doubts about my decision to quit. The grass is always greener, right? What if I hated staying home? What if I made a mistake quitting my job? Then what? I bitched so much about working that Jason might loose it if I told him I changed my mind.
So yeah, I was pretty nervous about becoming a SAHM.
We have made a lot of sacrifices for me to be a SAHM. And it's been hard adjusting. I wish we had more money. I feel guilty every.single.day that Jason works while I stay home with Macy. But even so, I love staying at home and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. All my fears (while they might be somewhat valid) are out weighed by reward I get from spending my days with Macy. This is the best job I have ever had. Go ahead, roll your eyes now. I probably would too at the sappiness of that comment. And even though I don't get paid monetarily, a price tag could never be put on what I get out of it. Go ahead. Roll your eyes again.
Who wouldn't want to spend their day with this........