I Love Staying at Home

Prior to having Macy, I fully intended on going back to work.  The thought of becoming a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) was overwhelming and I thought I honestly wasn't cut out for it.  No-way, I NEEDED adult interaction.  Plus I didn't go through 4 years of college to sit at home, ya know? But the biggest motivator for me to continue working was the whole paycheck thing.  I liked money too much to quit my job.  I mean, how could I walk away from that money?!  So yeah, the pre-baby Kathy planned on being a working mom and sending her newborn baby off to daycare.  Seemed completely acceptable, right?


Wrong.  I had my baby and I feel head over heels in love.  And my "plan" of going back to work was not so acceptable anymore.  I didn't care if we had to live in a box, I did not want to leave my newborn.  Every single day of my maternity leave I cried thinking about returning to work.  I begged, no, pleaded with Jason to let me quit.  But he wanted to be responsible, save up more money, get some things in order, and then, maybe 6 months down the road we would revisit the idea of me becoming a SAHM  ::rolls eyes::  What??  6 months?!?  Umm, yeah, don't be ridiculous and try to claim you are being responsible.  There is no way I can continue working.  Like it's physically impossible for me.  I think I might die if I return to work.  Really.  Like I'll DIE.


But I did go back.  Reluctantly.  And like always when I don't get my way, I nagged Jason to death about quitting.  I bitched about working EVERY SINGLE chance I got.  And eventually, he got tired of hearing me complain and gave me the OK to quit.


So see, being a brat does pay off.......whoever says otherwise obviously didn't nag long enough.  Ha!  I'm joking,  Really, there was a lot more thought and rational put into the decision of me quitting.  I'm not really a brat.  Honest.  But I also don't deny that I used this bargaining method ;)


Once I got the OK to quit, I was ecstatic!  I couldn't wait to stay at home with Macy.  Finally!  I would be living the dream life.  I could get back in shape, dress my baby in cutesy smocked dresses with frilly hair bows and I could spend my days shopping.  I always envied moms who pushed their perfect babies in their expensive strollers while meeting their rich friends for lunch.  And OMG, I was finally going to become one of them!!!


And then it dawned on me........I just quit my job which meant we were broke.  I wouldn't have money to shop.  Reality was going to be nothing like my fantasy.  Besides, I had a cheap ass Graco stroller so I would never fit in with those moms I envied.


Reality sucks sometimes.  I would be lying if I said I didn't have any doubts about my decision to quit.  The grass is always greener, right?  What if I hated staying home?  What if I made a mistake quitting my job?  Then what?  I bitched so much about working that Jason might loose it if I told him I changed my mind.


So yeah, I was pretty nervous about becoming a SAHM.


We have made a lot of sacrifices for me to be a SAHM.  And it's been hard adjusting.  I wish we had more money.  I feel guilty every.single.day that Jason works while I stay home with Macy.  But even so, I love staying at home and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.  All my fears (while they might be somewhat valid) are out weighed by reward I get from spending my days with Macy.  This is the best job I have ever had.  Go ahead, roll your eyes now.  I probably would too at the sappiness of that comment.  And even though I don't get paid monetarily, a price tag could never be put on what I get out of it.  Go ahead.  Roll your eyes again.


Who wouldn't want to spend their day with this........