Thursday, November 19, 2009

This is Exactly How I Feel

A friend of mine from an internet forum that I frequent sent me a post about her feelings she had the day before she was to be induced. I couldn't have said it any better myself, she has completely captured my emotions right now. While I am super excited to have this baby I am really sad to think I might not be pregnant this time next week. In actuality, I am shocked at how I feel. The last few weeks I thought I was ready to move on to the next stage and have this baby. Just last night I was telling Jason that I can't wait until I go into labor. But now that reality is sinking in I am having second thoughts. Yes, I can't be pregnant for the rest of my life but I did find comfort in thinking I had three weeks left in my pregnancy.

Anyway, enjoy this post from my friend Kate's blog. It is a letter she wrote to her daughter the day before being induced:

"Dear Lily,

You would think after nine months of carrying you, I'd be more prepared for this day. Well, I'm not. I'm still in a bit of disbelief that by this time tomorrow, I will probably be holding you in my arms instead of my belly. I think I'm just not ready to let you go yet.

In a lot of ways, though, I couldn't be more prepared. Your daddy and I have been busy these last few months getting your nursery ready, putting together things like swings and strollers for you, making arrangements for your daycare and your health care. All all of that is done, Lily.

I can't tell you how excited we are to meet you --to see your face for the very first time. I can't wait to hold your tiny hand for the first time or to feel your soft newborn skin for the very first time. Right now I can only imagine the little girl you're going to be. I don't know if you'll be easygoing like your dad or crazy anxious like your mom, but I do know you're going to be your very own little person, and I'm going to love watching every minute of it.

But for now, I really love having you right where you are. It hasn't always been easy to be pregnant, but those difficult moments are lost among the amazing ones. I love carrying you with me everywhere, knowing you're always here with me. I don't know, I guess I love not having to share you with anybody else right now. Right now it's just you and me.

But I know that it couldn't last forever. And I know we're about to move on the the best part. But I just wanted you to know how much I loved this time that we've had together.

See you very soon, baby girl.


After reading this post, I was in tears. This is exactly how I feel. I was beginning to feel a little guilty because I afraid I wasn't excited as I should be. Luckily, I have a week to prepare for the concept of having a baby outside the womb (and a week to enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy)!

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