Yesterday after work I picked Macy up from the sitters house and she was in a happy mood. The baby sitter even commented on her jovial mood. On the car ride home I started to feel proud, like we were completely in sync. I got to thinking, that over the past 2 weeks, Macy really doesn't cry anymore. If she does, it's only momentary until I figure out what she needs. I had almost convinced myself that this was all attributed to my mothering skills. I was that good of a mother and therefore she just didn't need to cry anymore. My thoughts were further reinforced when we got home. I played with Macy for about a hour before dinner and I could get her to smile on command. Man, motherhood just comes naturally to me.
Well, I got a little full of myself yesterday. Macy brought me down a few notches. This is how my night went:
Just about the time I sat down to eat dinner Macy started crying. Not cute little baby cries, I mean she was really whaling. I asked Jason to give her a bottle but she wouldn't settle down.
Sigh....ok fine, let me quiet her down, you know, because I have that magic touch.
Sometimes at night she will refuse the bottle and only want to breastfeed. I'll admit that it makes me feel good when she refuses the bottle. It's nice to feel needed. I thought that was surely the case last night. NOPE. She still fussed. Hmmm, ok Macy just needs to get settled down, I can always stop her crying when I breastfeed her.......well, it's not working......what's wrong with her??! Doesn't she know I am a great mother?
Finally I resigned to the fact that she just didn't want to breastfeed.
Ok, well I am a good enough mother to accept that I failed on my first attempt to soothe her. Let's try something else. I decided to offer her a bottle of formula. Maybe she liked the flow of milk from a bottle better. Maybe she was just too tired and didn't want to work while nursing.
That didn't work.
Ok, well let's try a bottle of breast milk. Maybe she doesn't like formula and prefers milk that I produced. Yeah, that's it. See, I really am mother superior.
That didn't work either.
As I sit on the couch with a screaming baby, watching TV (and I really mean watching TV. It's impossible to hear what's going on with Macy SCREAMING) I am completely puzzled as to why I can't make my baby stop crying. Could it be that I am not that in tune with my baby??! No, it can't be. I think she needs a diaper change. She's probably just upset because she is she is dirty.
I change her diaper and she is still screaming.
I try burping Macy because at that point I am convinced it gas. After 5 minutes of good pats on the back Macy is still crying. Now she is drenched in sweat because she is screaming so hard......I guess it wasn't gas.
Oh, duh. Let me give her a bath. She always settles down and sleeps like a baby when she has a bath.....please let this work.
The bath didn't work. At this point she has been crying for over an hour.
What is going on? Have I lost my touch? Wow, I can't even hear myself think because she is screaming so hard. I know, I will have Jason deal with this screaming baby for awhile because I need a break.
I asked Jason to take her and try to soothe her. Smirk. Yeah, good luck. If I am her mother and I can't get her to settle down, you won't have a chance. Well, Jason took her in the bedroom and put her in her play gym.
What do you know, she shut up.
How the hell did he know how to get her to quiet down??! Wait, I am the one who is suppose to figure out what is wrong with her! I am a great mother, right?!
Then it hits me like a brick wall. OMG, I really don't have this mothering thing all figured out!!
All kidding aside, Jason is a great father. He adores Macy. And at times he is more intouch with what her needs are. Other times I am. TOGETHER we make great parents. With out combined forces (because we are both super!) Macy will have a great life....and maybe we can get her to quiet down along the way!!