4 Diapers later......

And Macy has on a clean change of pants.  Seriously, she was a poop factory today.  Check out this pic of her and her four poopy diapers that she made in a matter of minutes......

Before you go judging me because I let dirty diapers pile up before disposing them, know that she dirtied them in a matter of 3.5 minutes.....tops.  By the time I got a clean diaper on her she'd fill it up.  And I'd change her.  And she'd poop again.  This cycle repeated itself until we had four dirty diapers lying next to her.  I guess I should count my blessings because I made it outta this mess without getting pooped on.  Whew.  Dodged a bullet.  


But isn't this face adorable?!  Even if she is a pooping machine....

My Attempt at Photography

Back when I was pregnant I announced that I wanted to learn how to take pictures and I needed a better camera.  So in August of last year my parents bought me a Nikon D40 for my new "hobby".  Whatdoyaknow, that idea fizzled out fast and I never learned how to use the damn thing.   I only used my DSLR camera for nothing more than point and click pictures.  What a waste, right?

But now I am sick of looking at my crappy pictures that are so......blah.  And I have decided to give this whole photography thing another shot.  I am currently in the process of learning how to use my new fancy camera.  I have been doing some online tutorials to help me get familiar with my camera.  Slowly but surely I am learning how to take pictures in something other than in automatic mode.  I have a looooonnnnnggg way to go before I really start taking quality pictures but I thought I would share some of the recent pics of took of Miss Macy.  God forbid anyone with any real knowledge of a camera looks at my pictures.  They would laugh at the amateur quality......

I have more pictures but for some reason they are lost in my computer.  Ugh.  Note to self: after I learn how to use my camera I must learn how to use my computer.  Why am I so slow when it comes to technology.  Is there a Senior Center that would allow me to enroll in some of their classes?  Anyway, these are some of the best pics I took.  And I took a ton.  Apparently, 1 out of 99 pictures I take turns out ok.  

Dear Baby Gap,

Please stop selling cute baby clothes.  I have a soft spot for your clothes but my wallet just won't allow me to splurge on your clothes anymore.  Any spare money I do have goes to you.  Why do I not have a problem shelling out $30 for an outfit my daughter can wear for about 3 months?  Doesn't something seem wrong with this?  The total amount of money I have spent on my daughters wardrobe is probably sickening.  I am not sure of the exact number but I'm better off not knowing.  Oh, and so is my husband.    


You are making it hard to resist cute outfits like this:

I want to fill up my online cart and press the purchase button.  Especially when you are offering 25% off.  Ugh.  Must.Fight.Back.The.Urge.  My will power is already being tested since I am on a diet and fighting back the temptation not to say screw it and eat a whole box of Oreos.

Sincerely, 

A mom who no longer has an income    

Just say no to Oreos and baby rompers.  

A Walk Down Memory Lane....

I was looking through some pictures earlier today and I stubbled across Macy's "baby pictures".  OMG, where has the time gone?  I can't believe she is no longer an infant.  

And OMG, I forgot how tiny newborns are!  

Here is a picture of me seeing her for the first time......

This is Macy getting weighed.  She is pissed......

This is her on Christmas.  Precious....

Again, she's pissed off.....

This is her and her daddy.  He just got off work so don't mind his Border Patrol Green work pants.....

This trip down memory lane is giving my uterus baby fever.....

My Baby Can Read!

My kid is sooo smart that she already knows how to read at 5 months.  For real.   She doesn't need the "Your Baby Can Read" DVD Series sold on infomercials late at night.  What a scam.  Ha.  She's a baby genius.  See for yourself.....

What mom?  You want me to read you a story?

Ok, let me get my book.....

See mom, I am so smart reading.....

This book is so interesting that I am going to lay down and eat it.  I have great taste when it comes to books.  This one tastes real good....

Noooooo!  Don't sit me back up and make me finish reading.  I am a baby genius and I can do what I want.....

Ahh, as you can see we have a while to go before Macy gets the concept of a book.  She thinks they are crew toys.  But whatev.  If it makes her happy she can chew on her books if she wants.  Although it may become an issue once she goes to college.  And she is going to Harvard cuz she is smart and can read at 5 months old......

My Happy Girl!

Ahhh, I love this girl!  She is such a happy little thing.  Here are some pics of her I took this weekend.  For some reason I only seem to bust out the camera when she is only wearing a diaper.  Weird.  I swear, she does wear clothes!

Weight Loss Saga....

I've decided to give Weight Watchers another shot.  I want to drop this baby weight once and for all.  But, in the spirit of full disclosure I should confess that I really started last week and I fell off the wagon.  Ugh.  Predictable.  So my new official start date will be tomorrow.  Hopefully I will have more will power on round two.  Seriously, I'm tired of my squishy belly and a jiggly mom butt.  Gross. 


Really, I know I am hard on myself about dropping the baby weight.  Like, maybe too hard.  And I'm sure when people hear me complain about my weight issues they roll their eyes and tune me out.  And I'm sure they wish they could tell me to STFU.  The thing is, I'm not really "overweight" and considering the circumstances I should probably cut myself some slack.  But I don't want to.  I don't want to get comfortable with the additional 13 lbs of baby weight I can't seem to drop.  I have never been this big so it's like a foreign concept to me to be an "average" sized person.  I have ALWAYS been small and petite and it's kinda like part of my identity, ya know?  I don't feel comfortable with myself since having Macy.  And since I am not breast feeding anymore it's time to do something about it.  


To prove my point let me show you some pictures of me on my wedding day.  Plus I want to be an attention whore so indulge me:

This is me getting an AWESOME gift from my Husband.  I HAVE to tell you the story behind this another time.  It's classic.  This story is worthy of it's own blog post.  It was a gift that will never be forgotten!  

This is us walking down the aisle after saying "I Do".  We are both so blissfully happy.

This is and my Mama.

This is me with my new husband and family friends. 

Humph.  I wanna be skinny again  ::crosses arms and pouts::


And here's a picture of me from my BFF's wedding in March:

Blah.  Me no likey.  


So tonight I was sure to stuff my face with my favorite food; nachos and ice cream.  It will be awhile before I can eat garbage like that again.  I took full advantage of this one opportunity of a guilt free pig out session.  I feel justified because I know tomorrow at this time I'll be starving and contemplating eating off my arm.  


Wow, this comes off like I have a distorted body image and an eating disorder but I promise I don't.  Well, ok, maybe I have a distorted body image but I don't have an eating disorder.  Shoot, if I have a eating disorder I'm a failure.  

She thinks this dog is a riot...

This dog:

And I am not sure why.  Honestly, I think this dog is the biggest PITA that has ever walked the Earth.  Sounds a little harsh?  Well, this is a stray dog I found last August and I took her home thinking she belonged to someone and was lost.  I made up posters and called every vet clinic in a 50 mile radius to see if anyone called in a lost dog.  About 2 days after I brought her home she went into heat.  And then she escaped.  And made friends with the neighborhood boy dogs.  Ugh, great, just what I need.....even more dogs to add to my collection (we have 3 other dogs).  Anyway, we got her "fixed" and we remained puppy free, if you catch my drift.  For a while I was nervous on how to explain to the owners that I found their dog and had her fixed once they contacted me.  But that day never came.  I am still holding on to someones dog almost one year later.  And I have refused to name this dog because I am hoping they will call.  As you can tell I am not ready to admit that she is officially ours  ::sigh::

The thing that drives me crazy about this dog is she is not potty trained nor does she ever intend to be.  I let her run and play outside for hours and when I finally let her back in she pisses all over my floor.  And then she gives me a look of "oh thank god you let me in, I don't think I could have held it any longer".  Do you know how frustrating it was cleaning up after her multiple times a day when I was 9 months pregnant.  Yeah, I have called this dog a few choice words.  

Another things she does that drives me freakin' crazy is she barks all the effing time.  And she wakes the baby from her naps.  There is nothing worse than sitting down for a few minutes to myself when the effing dog barks and startles my sleeping baby.  This dog is lucky she can run fast because I might have killed her had I caught her.  

But before you go reporting me to the authorities because I am not fit to own this dog know that I would never do anything to harm her.  Because my baby thinks she is an effing riot.  That's right.  I have no idea why.  This dog just has to be in Macy's line of sight and she cracks up laughing.  Not giggles but belly laughs.  Our other three dogs?  Ehh, Macy doesn't really care for them but she loves this little white dog.  


Somethings I will never understand.....  

Good news and the bad news....

The good news is I *think* I have solved the mystery of Macy's crying fits.  It seems it was her formula that was causing her to turn into a complete maniac.  Two nights ago I ran to Wal-Mart in desperation and picked up a new brand of formula.  This is what has saved my sanity:

It's amazing that I was so slow to put two and two together and figuring out it was the formula that turned Macy into a monster.  Yeah, I'm no detective.  But I am happy to say that she been in better spirits since she made the switch.  It's nice to have my old baby back!


Now on to the bad news.......the formula has given Macy the worst smelling gas.....ever.  No joke.  Like, she could clear a room in 5 seconds flat.  OMG, it's really bad.  I am convinced there were a few times yesterday that she starting crying because even she couldn't stand the smell of her gas.  It's amazing she can produce something so......for a lack of a better word.......vile.  I feel a little guilty describing my daughter's gas as vile but really, it's impressive.  


And then there are her poopy diapers.  Ugh, they take your breath away.  And not in a good way.  Holy shit (literally), they are gag worthy.  I had to cover my face with my shirt this morning when I was changing her.  


So, hopefully her body will adjust ASAP (or I learn to love the smell) so I will be able to stand in the room with her without wearing a gas mask.  But regardless, I will put up with her foul smelling gas over her non-stop fussiness any day!  Glad my girl is feeling better!  

So, I guess this is what they call teething.....

Because Macy has been fussing non-stop for the last week.


Like, really fussing.  


She fusses for about 75% of the day, no joke (I wish I was).  Poor thing......and poor me.  It's mentally exhausting for me trying to soothe her so I can only imagine how exhausting it is for her.  Ugh, it breaks my heart to see her this way.  


To make matters worse, we just got back from an 11 day vacation to Florida where she was held every waking hour of the day.  Now that we are home she expects the same treatment.  And I'm a sucka.  So not only am I mentally exhausted from trying to distract her from her teething pain, but I am also physically exhausted from lugging her around all day.  


Oh and while we were in Florida I didn't stick to her schedule so her sleeping pattern got all out of whack.  Stupid me.  I am paying for it now.  Bedtime has not been fun in my house since we got back to Texas.


Also, when I was in Florida I decided to stop breast feeding and I switched Macy over to formula.  The transition from breast milk to formula has not been a smooth one.  She is having major gas issues and I am convinced that the formula is the culprit.  


So this has been the perfect storm of things that could disrupt Macy's routine.  It seriously breaks my heart to see my girl fuss like this.  I would do anything to make her feel better.  Today I was so desperate to try to calm her I told her that her daddy would buy her a pony if she stopped crying.  It didn't work.  But at least now I am off the hook for buying her a pony, right?


Here is one pic I managed to take of her today when she wasn't crying.  I tried forever to get a pic of her and her two little teeth but no such luck......maybe I will get lucky tomorrow.  

She is such a cutie pie......even if she does fuss for hours on end.  Love my baby girl!

First Trip to the Beach.....

This past week Jason, Macy and I were in Florida to visit the Grandparents.  Ok, well, Jason went to fish.  But anyway, I was able to take the baby for her first beach trip.  We went to Honeymoon Island and it was a great time.  Here's some pictures of our trip......Miss Macy is teething so she refused to take her thumb out of her mouth that day.  

The only mishap of the day was my crazy tan.  I lathered the baby up with SPF 85 so she would avoid a sun burn but stupid me didn't realize her lotion would rub off on me and leave me with crazy tan lines.  Ummm, it looks like I have some sort of skin condition.  My arms, my legs and my chest are blotchy and I am afraid that this tan will stick with me for the rest of the summer.  WTF.


Check out this picture of my leg.  Isn't my tan lovely?  It will go well with my new makeover.

Mommy Makeover!

I decided that I was in desperate need of a makeover because I had let myself go since becoming a mom.  I mean, I really let myself go.  The final straw was on my last week of work when the hem on my pants broke.  Instead of restitching them like a normal person I stapled them.  ::sigh,, good lord, I reached a new low.  And I officially crossed the line into becoming a total slob::  I am pretty sure a stapler should never be considered as an alterations tool.  

Jason, the baby and I are currently visiting in Orlando and I thought there would be no greater place than here to jump start my makeover.  Orlando is the land of shopping opportunity and I have been taking full advantage. 

First, I decided to cut my hair and give it some style.  This was a big decision for me.  I had really long hair (like freakishly long) so I was really nervous to see it go.  But I was tired of my hair and the work it required.  I was ready for a change.  So last Friday I went from this:

To this:

Next, I decided to go shopping for some new clothes.  I decided it was time I stop wearing my maternity clothes since I am 5 months post partum.  While it was a tough pill to swallow buying two sizes larger that my pre-pregnancy days it was something I needed to do.  So, these are some of the items that I have purchased for the new me......

I also purchased the following accessories.....

I purchased many more items but I couldn't find any pictures on the internet to post.  Anyway, I am off to a good start on my new look.  Now I just need to drop the weight, which is my next project.

Little Miss Piggy

I have started Macy on rice cereal.  She is a eager little eater but she has a ways to go before she masters the spoon.  Feeding her via the spoon is the funniest thing ever!  The food goes in but two seconds later the food comes out.  She manages to get the rice cereal every where!  I have to feed her naked and with a bib on because she is such a mess.  She gets it in her hair, up her nose and somehow in her diaper.  Needless to say she immediately takes a bath after her feedings.  


Check her out in action.....

Isn't she adorable?!  OMG, I can't get enough of her!

There is a Magnetic Pull....

Between Macy's foot and my C-Section scar.  And it hurts.


Oh and I can't find my cell phone.  I have tore the house apart looking for it.


That is all.......

The One Where She Pooped on my Sweater in Public....

Yet another poop story.....


Each year at tax time, Jason and I travel to McAllen, Texas to get our taxes done with a guy who specializes in Border Patrol expenses.  McAllen is a border town that is about 1 hour away from our house.  Jason hates to travel to McAllen but I love it because it's a real city and has more restaurant options other than Mexican food.


So our plan for was to get down to McAllen, get our taxes done and eat at a restaurant of my choice.  Awesome....I never get to pick the restaurant!


Well, I should have known that things never go according to plan.  Nothing worked out in our favor that day.  Remember how I said that McAllen was 1 hour away?  Well, McAllen is really 1.5 hours away.  Whoops.  We were a half hour late to our appointment.  Luckily, the CPA was kind enough to see us when we arrived.  All three of us piled into the CPA's office to review our expenses for the year.  Well actually, this is how it went.....Jason talked expenses with the CPA while I tried to entertain a squirmy 4 month old.  About half way through our hour appointment I noticed Macy stunk.  Like really bad.  But I decided not to change her because  I wasn't sure how much longer the appointment would go or if the tiny little office even had a bathroom.  I thought about changing her on the floor but I wasn't sure on how keen the CPA would be with that.  So I just let her sit in her dirty diaper and planned on changing her once we got back to the car.    


This would be mistake #1.


Mistake #2 would be wearing a white sweater.


I totally should have trusted my nose and changed Macy at the first smell of her nasty diaper.  Because the longer I let her sit, the longer the nastiness from her diaper was able to ooze out.  Yes, ooze out.  It oozed out the front of her diaper, the back of her diaper and at the legs.  Basically shit was coming out at the seams.  The best part about it was I was oblivious to the fact that Macy had a diaper failure.  Not only was it ALL OVER her cute pink outfit but it was all over my white sweater......and I had no clue.  No wonder why the CPA wouldn't make eye contact with me.


OMG, do you know how mortified I was when I actually realized that I had shit all over my sweater?  I didn't figure out I was drenched in poop until I got down to my car to change the baby in the back seat.  I sat through AT LEAST a half hour of our appointment with shit on my sweater!!  I wanted to crawl into a hole and die!


To top everything off I forgot to pack a clean change of clothes in Macy's diaper bag so the baby had to ride home in her diaper.  And my plan of going to a nice restaurant was replaced by a trip through McDonald's drive thru.


But hey, she is the only person who can shit on me and I will think it is funny.  That spells true love.


And since I FINALLY figured out how to right click on my new Mac, I will leave you with the picture I wanted to post yesterday.  It's of me and Macy on my first day home as a stay at home mom.  Don't mind her nakedness.......she just barfed on her third outfit of the day and I decided our washer needed a break.  Oh, and the quality sucks.  It was taken with my cell phone.  

Officially a SAHM!

I am officially a stay at home mom!  Today went great but I would be lying if I said I am not nervous that I might go bonkers.  I have decided to set up some ground rules in hopes that it makes my transition to a working mom to a stay at home mom go a little easier.

My rules of becoming a SAHM:

1. I have decided that I am not going to turn the TV on until Jason gets home from work.  That way I won't get sucked into bad daytime TV.  I am the network's ideal viewer in that I can get sucked into TV rather easily.  I seriously could watch marathon reruns of the Kardashian's for days on end.........don't judge.  You could too, you just won't admit it.  But anyway, I don't know how realistic this rule is but I am hoping to keep it up so I don't turn into a couch potato.  
2. I must wake up every day at 7AM and go to bed at a decent hour.  So far so good.  I keep having flash backs to my summer vacations in high school when I would manage to get myself out of bed.....oh....around 3 PM.  This is mostly because I went to bed around 5 AM because I was watching bad TV (now you know why I implemented the no TV rule).  If my parents knew I woke up at 3 PM they would have made me get a job so I was sure to play it off like I had been up all day.  Sneaky.  But this scheme would not go over well with an infant.......when Macy's not sleeping, nobody is sleeping.  It wouldn't be smart of me to stay up until 5 AM when she wakes up at 7 AM.  OMG, I couldn't imagine taking care of an infant on two hours of sleep.  nothankyou.    
3. I must work out at least 3 times a week  ::sigh::  I am not off to a good start.  I decided to put it off today and "plan" on getting in all my work outs in later in the week.  Typical.  I am such a procrastinator. 
4. I must get out of the house at least once a day.  If I don't, I am afraid that I will go stir-crazy.  So today we went shopping at Wal-Mart and I ran up to work....I mean my ex-work to finish up some last minute things.  

These are the rules I have set for myself so far.  I am hoping these rules will prevent me from going crazy.  While we might not live in the most exciting town (hello Ricardo, Texas population 700) I am determined to make the most of it.

I was hoping to include a pic of Macy and I on our first day at home together.  Unfortunately,  I recently bought a Mac computer and I have no idea how to add a picture I took from my cell phone :(  So until my dumbass can figure out this computer I might not being posting pics.  Seriously, is there a right click on this thing??

I am a butt sniffer

Sometimes I am not sure if Macy has crapped herself.  Instead of taking off her clothes and checking her diaper I just sniff her butt.  Believe me, if she has crapped her pants, I'll know.  I don't need to check her diaper.


Butt sniffing is convenient but it's not always classy or appropriate out in public.  Since becoming a mom I have a different mindset and I have become oblivious to public etiquette.  I forgot how to think like a normal person and what's acceptable in public and what's not.  I am pretty sure my butt sniffing gets sympathetic looks from others.  But the thing is, it doesn't bother me that people feel sorry with me because I have lost all touch with reality.  Should I feel bad?  Have I let myself go?


Eh, oh well.  I'm not cool anymore.......but I am not sure if I ever was.  Now I have something in common with the dog.


Anyway, here is a pic of my adorable little girl.  Seriously, I don't think I have ever seen a cuter baby!