Bathing Suit Drama

This has not my finest year when it comes to working out.  So shoot me now that it's swimsuit season.  I am 10 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.  Yuck.  10 lbs doesn't sound all that bad but considering last month I was 1 lb away it's not good.  How I have managed to GAIN 9 lbs in a month??!  Oh yeah, I eat bad and don't work out.  That's right.


::sigh:: 


I have succumbed to the fact it's going to take me a LONG time to get back in Bikini shape.  Like maybe years.  For real.  You know what's sad?  Prior to my pregnancy I use to think I was too fat to wear a bikini.  Ha!  Wanna see a pic?

OMG, I just posted a pic of me in a bathing suit on the internet.


Yeah, I was dumb.  I WISH I looked like that now!  While I might not be a Victoria's Secret bathing suit model, I actually think I look kinda good.  Kinda.


These days you couldn't pay me to get into a two piece and wear it out in public.  I still have that pesky line down my belly from my pregnancy.  Seriously, when will that thing ever go away?  So that coupled with my extra "fluffiness" that I have acquired over that last year makes me look like a train wreck with a bikini on.  Well, shit, who am I kidding.....I look like a train wreck with a one piece on. 


So this weekend I went bathing suit shopping.  And it was the most depressing thing ever.  But I have to wear something to the beach.  I can't wear jeans and a t-shirt......although it is temping.


This is what I bought....

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like this on me.  But it was the one suit that didn't make me want to cry when I tried it on.  And speaking of trying on swimsuits......who the eff decided it was a good idea to put those lights in dressing rooms?  Isn't it the goal of department stores to sell bathing suits?  Or is it their goal to make you feel bad about yourself?  Me thinks it's the latter. 


Anyway, this suit works for me because it has a full coverage bottom which I need.  I would like to cover the stretch marks I got on my ass while I was pregnant as much a possible.  Off topic - why did I get stretch marks on my butt and not my stomach?  Did my ass grow at a faster rate than my belly?  Apparently so.......


Another reason why this suit is great is because it has tummy control.  Which is something else I desperately need.  Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and at the right angle I look 5 months pregnant.  Yeah, it's been 5 months since I been pregnant so this is not the look I am going for.....


And that's my bathing suit drama.  But I wouldn't trade one fat roll for a day without my Macy!  She's well worth the extra cellulite!  Love my baby girl!

Little Miss Smarty Pants.....

So, over the past few weeks I have noticed that my little girl is working me.  She's figured out she's the boss.  Remember this post where I talked about what a push over I am?  Yeah....well......she knows it too. 


Little Miss Smarty Pants has figured out how to get attention.  She has discovered that I will come running when she cries.  She doesn't cry because she needs anything.  She is crying because she wants attention.  You know how I can tell?  Because she stops crying when she sees me and gives the biggest grin.  And I only encourage this behavior when I smile back at her.  I mean, how could I not?  Her smiles are infectious. 


Her new discovery has made bed time especially hard this week.  Ugh.  Great.  She gets totally pissed when I put her in her crib, say good night and leave the room.  That when the tears start flowing......or shall I say fake tears.  I am doing my best to be strong and let her figure out how to soothe herself without me looming over her crib.  I am fearful that if I don't bed time will become a nightmare.  I keep having flashbacks of those kids on Super Nanny who become a total PITA at bedtime.  I DO NOT want one of those kids!

I guess this means that I am going to have my hands full from here on out.  And with a smile like hers, one day she is going to break some boys heart!

Anyway, here are some pics I took of her the other day.  She is such a happy little baby....

I couldn't imagine if she were a boy.....

I say this all the time as if there is a big difference between boys and girls at 4 months.  ::rolls eyes at myself::  Other than the color of clothes there isn't much of a difference between girls and boys at this age.  Four month old boys do the exact same things as four month old girls, so it's not like I would treat them any differently, ya know?

Why does having a boy seem so foreign to me?  It's like in school when they told you that the Earth is 5 billion years old and it's impossible for your brain to process how long that actually is.  Yeah, having a boy is kinda like that for me.  But the funny thing is, when I was pregnant I was almost positive that Macy was a boy.  Having a girl just seemed out of the question for me.  I felt like I was destined to have my first born child be a son.  Yeah, proof right there why I shouldn't play the lottery.  I was shocked when I found out she was a girl in the delivery room.  But after that initial shock of having a girl wore off, I quickly embraced it and I haven't looked back since. 

I couldn't imagine life without her.  I couldn't imagine her not being....well.....her.  This just goes to show that some things in life can turn out better than your greatest expectations.  So for the next child, if it does end up being a boy, I am sure it will be better than I ever dreamt of......and I won't be able to imagine life without him!

Ok, since I hate reading blog posts without pictures I will leave you one of Macy.  Again the baby sitter took it and it's amazing!

The Fiasco of Macy's Two Month Shots

I don't know why I don't write about this stuff when it happens?  Macy is almost 5 months old and I am just now writing about her 2 month shots?  Why it never occurs to me to write stuff until a few months or so has passed is beyond me.  So for the mean time, you will just have to hear my outdated Macy stories, ok?

Anyway, back in February I had an appointment for Macy to get her two month shots.  At the time I scheduled her appointment, I didn't pay much attention (which seems to be a reoccurring problem of mine) to the date and time.  So once February actually rolled around I had to reference Macy's Appointment card, which was written by the doctor's receptionist.  The card read that Macy's appointment was Friday February 5th at 2 PM.  This kinda struck me as odd because Macy was born on December 8th so technically February 5th isn't her 2 month birthday.  But whatever, that's what the card said so the baby and I were there. 

I did have to pull some strings to get off work that day.  I just got back from Maternity leave that Monday and my vacation time and sick leave balance was at ZERO.  I had to work an additional hour each day in order to hit 40 hours for the week.  Oh and BTW, I live an hour away from Macy's Pediatrician’s office.  We live in the middle of freakin' nowhere so I have to travel a total of two hours to get to and from her appointments.  This only added to the time I had to be away from work which in turn added stress to my first week back.  Humph. 

Well, sometimes people don't write clearly. And sometimes a 8 can look like a 5.  As in February 5th vs February 8th. And I had to learn this the hard way.

Eff.



So you could understand how incredibly pissed I was when the receptionist told me in a not so nice tone that I didn't have an appointment that day and I would have to come back on Monday February 8th.  What?!  Surely you can squeeze me in today?  Nope.  The doctor has a policy that vaccinations can't be give early and I would have to come back the following Monday. 

I explained my dilemma to the receptionist about my lack of sick/vacation time and the inconvenience of having to travel to their office.  I asked her if she could please ask the doctor if they could make an exception.....just this one time......because I just went through a lot of effort and I don't want to do it again.  I mean both December and January had 31 days so that should count for something, right?! 

Nope. 

Now I was totally pissed off and I was trying to find the appointment card that said the "5th" to prove it was their eff up and not mine.  Of course I couldn't find it.......of course I left in on the kitchen counter that morning. 

Not only did I look like an idiot because I showed up on the wrong day but now I looked like an ass because I yelled at the receptionist and I didn't have any proof to back up my claim.......but I had a plan.  I was going to go home, find the card, bring it to my appointment on Monday and prove that she was the idiot and the ass. 

Once I got home the first thing I did was find the appointment card and discovered that "5" was actually an "8". 

Whoops. 

So on Monday I tucked my tail between my legs and took Macy to her doctor's appointment.  With a much better attitude this time. 

Anyway, on a happier note, here's another great picture of Macy the baby sitter took!!  Isn't she precious?!

OMG, did she just crap on the wall?!

First off, this post is solely about poop.  Nothing more.  So I apologize in advance for the crudeness of this post. 

Macy is notorious for farting/pooping with force.  She might be an infant but she can have some impressive explosions to say the least.  Anyway, back in February my mom came to visit and Macy needed a diaper change.  My mom offered to change her and I agreed.......I mean, I am not one to turn down a person who wants to change my child's diaper!  I was in the room with them when I heard the loudest fart of my life.  Seriously.  And it came from my 2 month old daughter.  OMG.  How is it possible that just came from her?  

Macy was oblivious to the fact that she just let go of the biggest fart known to mankind.  She was cooing and smiling as if nothing happened.....unfazed by it all.  I have never heard anything like it before!  My mom and I both giggled (because we are immature and laugh when the baby farts) and looked at each other with wide eyes.  We laughed even harder when we discovered that she pooped with such force that it got on her rocker and wall. 

Let me just show you how far the pooped traveled.  Here's a picture of her nursery.....

She was on the dresser and she crapped all over the wall and the chair.  Not the wall that runs behind the dresser, but the wall on the other side of the rocker. 

For real.

Yeah, isn't that impressive?  I mean, that takes talent......like real talent.  Grown men couldn't even pull that off. 

My mom likes to joke that when Macy enters the Miss Texas Pageant in 2029 farting could be her talent.  I think she is right because what she did takes super human powers. 

Meet Sophie la Girafe

I have heard so much about Sophie the Giraffe, I broke down and bought one for Macy.  Sophie is a teething toy that many mothers swear by.  And once I saw a picture of Nicole Richie's daughter carrying Sophie I had to buy one because everyone knows celebrities are experts on the world and know more than us nice, normal people (this is dripping in sarcasm). 

No, seriously, I had to see what all the fuss was about. 

Sophie arrived about a week ago and Macy couldn't care less about the thing.  I was pissed because I just shelled out $22.50 for a glorified dog toy.  I was bound and determined to get her to like this stupid giraffe but Macy just wasn't interested. 

That is until yesterday. 

Yesterday evening Macy was fussing.  She wasn't really crying but it was more like a whine.  She didn't want to eat, she didn't need to be changed, she didn't want to be held, she didn't want to be left alone so I figured she is teething and just wants to whine.  Ok, fine.  Let me offer up Sophie one more time because I will get you to like this toy one way or the other.  What do you know, Macy wanted a make-out session with her friend Sophie.  That was the only thing that shut her up!  She chewed on Sophie for a good 30 minutes before bedtime. 

So I believe an apology is in order.....

Dear Sophie,

I am sorry I doubted you before.  You really are the greatest toy ever.  You gave me sanity last night by not having to listen to my daughter whine nonstop because she is teething.  So for this, I thank you. 

Sincerely,

A mom who's daughter is in love with a giraffe

Back to Wearing My Wedding Rings!

The last time I wore my wedding rings was back in August of 2009.  That was the point in my pregnancy that my swelling became out of control.  So for the last half of my pregnancy I had to deal with complete strangers giving me the side eye because I was an unwed pregnant girl.  Also, I'm sure people who knew me were secretly questioning if Jason and I were having marital problems.  I just assumed that once I had the baby, I could just pop my rings back on and people would stop judging and questioning my marriage.  In the mean time, I made sure I told lots of stories about Jason and I was sure to only refer to him as my husband and never by his first name.  I wanted people to know I was married so I talked about my husband to anyone who would listen. 

Then I started to worry that since I wasn't wearing my wedding rings and I was speaking about my husband people would think that I had a shotgun wedding and we got hitched because I was knocked up.  So then I decided I should start talking about my wedding to my husband all.the.time so people would get the hint that yes, I was married and no, it wasn't a shotgun wedding. 

Between all this talk about my husband, my wedding and my baby people probably thought I was the most self-involved person........ever.  Now that I think back I should have just worn a shirt that says "I'm pregnant, I'm married, It wasn't a shot gun wedding and my rings no longer fit" and saved everyone the trouble of having to listen to me blab about myself. 

Well, my plan of being able to wear my rings after I had Macy didn't go accordingly.  Four months after Macy arrived I STILL couldn't get my rings on.  I guess having a baby really did a number on my body.  Ugh, I was still dealing with the side eye from complete strangers who were judging me because they thought I was unwed mother.  Seriously, I caught myself telling my same old stories about my wedding or my husband. 

Finally I broke down and took my rings to the jeweler to have them resized.  Could you believe that my rings needed to be sized ONE WHOLE SIZE LARGER?!  I went from a size 5 to a size 6.  Holy crap, what happened to 5.5??!  Was I that much of a fat ass during my pregnancy that I needed a full ring size larger?  Apparently so! 

Oh well.  Anyway, I am happy to be wearing my wedding rings and not having to talk about my husband or my wedding so much.  Here's a picture of my engagement ring taken on my wedding day.  I love it so much and I can't stop staring at it!

Macy Has Been Featured in Another Blog!

Macy has been featured in the blog Hello Sneakers, Good bye Heels for "Too Cute Tuesday"!  How awesome is that?! 

If you haven't read this blog, you should!  Her daughter Aubrey was born on the same day as Macy, 12.08.09, so I feel like we are going through motherhood together.  I love her honesty and her humor!  Plus her daughter is oh-so cute so I love to look at her pics!  Check it out!

What's that in your hair?!

This past weekend my parents came out to visit.  They claim they came for my birthday.  But really, I know the trip was solely to see Macy.  I'm no dummy.  They just needed an excuse to see the baby.  Ha!  But even still, I enjoyed our weekend as it's always fun to see my parents.  I love to see their faces when they see Macy and all the progress she has made since their last visit.  Macy was oh-so cute and won over their hearts (again) with her million dollar smile. 

Anyway, my mom offered to grab Macy out of her crib after a nap (and I use the term "offered" loosely.  I don't have much of a choice.  When my mom's around I don't get to hold Macy much!!  Just kidding mom........but not really).  When she got her out of her crib Macy's hair was a mess.  Like, a total mess.  It was all matted and a little crunchy.  I made a comment about her hair and my mom said something along the lines of yeah, I think she puked in her bed, it must have gotten in her hair too. 

I got a good laugh and then headed to the crib to change her sheets.  Upon closer inspection, I realized that's not puke in her bed......that's poop.

And, that means Macy's "do" is attributed to poop in her hair.  OMG, my baby has shit in her hair!  And it's all over her clothes.  And it soaked through her sheet.  And it soaked through the waterproof mattress pad.  Wait, I thought the mattress pad was waterproof?!  WTF?!  I guess waterproof =/= shitproof?  Where do I find a shitproof mattress pad?  Because I need one of those ASAP..... 

Remember my post on how this kid does laps around the bed when she sleeps? Yeah, she's still doing that. Just this time she had a shit trail that marked where she was.


Poor baby!  She got clean sheets and a bath within a matter of seconds!
 
I don't have any pics for proof......wish I did, they would be good blackmail pics in about 16 years.  So I will leave you with another picture my baby sitter took of Miss Macy.  Isn't she precious?!  Even if she does shit in her hair......
 

She's a baby, it's inevitable she's gonna cry....

Why is this concept so hard for me to accept?  The moment I hear a fuss out of Macy I run, whisk her up in my arms, tell her "it's ok, mama's here" and cover her in kisses.  It's kinda nauseating.  If I'm busy and hear her cry I yell for Jason to grab her and cuddle with her.  I get totally annoyed when a) he takes his sweet time getting to her because he is too busy watching Wheel of Fortune or b) he refuses and tells me it's ok if she cries for a while. 

What, you have got to be kidding?!  I can't let my baby just cry.

Prior to actually having a child I always thought that I would be the tough parent.  From an early age I would teach my child that crying for no reason won't get you any where.  I thought that once my child reached the age when he/she understood how to work the system (i.e. - crying = attention) I would put my foot down and teach them that crying =/= attention.  I watched enough Super Nanny to know that I didn't want a snot nosed brat like those kids on that show.  OMG, aren't those kids horrible?! 

But now that I have my own child I can understand how those parents on Super Nanny ended up in the position they are in.  Those parents, I'm sure, were just like me.  I'm sure they thought they were going to be unsympathetic to a whiny child.  But once their babies arrived they became total push overs and jumped at their baby's every cry. 

Ugh.  I am beginning to think it's against my genetic code to let Macy cry.  It takes every fiber of my being not to pick her up when she is fussy.  Seriously, I need to be able to go to the bathroom and not feel guilty that I am not tending to my crying child.  I have to keep telling myself she won't be scared for life if she cries for more than 5 minutes in her lifespan.  Babies DO cry and it's ok.  I am getting better, but I still have a ways to go......

Fist Bump, Anyone?!

LOVE this picture.....

I Really Have it Easy!

Prior to having Macy, I envisioned that being a mom would entail sleepless nights for months on end, a messy house, frazzled nerves and unbrushed hair. But since having Macy none of that is true......well ok, my hair is something less than desired these days so my statement is not 100% true. But that has nothing to do with Macy. My hair looks like shit because I am too lazy to fix it or do anything about it.......but I digress.......

Anyway, life with a baby is much easier than I ever anticipated. 


I am beginning to think that for years my mom lied to me on how hard and exhausting motherhood can be.  I think she did this as her form of birth control.  It's like she was trying to scare me into not having children too young.  But guess what?!  Her strategy worked!  I was scared to death to have kids. 

I kid, I kid. 

While my mom did tell me kids are hard work I think it's Macy who makes it so easy for me.  She is a great baby.  I don't think I have ever seen a kid more happy than her.  She is full of smiles, all the time.  See for yourself.....

You like how I slipped in a picture of my adorable baby?!  Sorry, I just had to. 

She can entertain herself relatively easy.  She loves to watch tv.  I mean this kid REALLY loves the tv.  She also has a blast in her exersauser (which is the greatest invention ever BTW) which gives me a chance to make dinner and eat at night. 

A well feed mama = a happy mama. 

Also, bed time is a breeze. Literally, all I have to do is put her in her crib and she is out like a light. We have no struggles at bed time. And while she does wake up once a night to eat, she doesn't need to be held and her feeding takes no more than 5 minutes.  I enjoy my 8+ hours a night of sleep. 


A well rested mama = a happy mama.



After she falls asleep at 7:30 PM it gives me a chance to tidy up the house.  I am able to do the dishes, laundry and wash bottles all uninterrupted.  It's great.  I actually think our house is cleaner since she arrived.

A mama with a clean house = a happy mama.

So see, Macy is the one who makes it so easy.  I am blessed to have such a happy, healthy and content child.  I have to thank my lucky stars!!

But y'all know what's going to happen once I press the "publish" button on this post?!  Macy is going to turn into a total terror because I jinxed it.  So I guess I should add the disclaimer that about 2 days out of the week she does have a melt down.  Here's a picture of her having a meltdown.  See.....

And when she has her meltdowns it can be exhausting and I should probably invest in a pair of earplugs.  Once she gets herself worked up it is close to impossible to calm her back down.  She does it on her time and there is nothing you can do to soothe her.  The more you try to soothe her the more she gets pissed.  She is stubborn like her dad........ha!  Not like me because y'all know I am perfect and I am NEVER stubborn ;)  She also gets her farting skillz from her dad too. 

But even with her breakdowns and loud farts, I still consider myself lucky!

She's not a puppy....she's your baby

I have a problem. 

Whenever I speak about Macy's newborn days I ALWAYS start off by saying "When we first got Macy"........like she's a puppy we brought home from the pound.  Umm, she's my biological daughter so I should probably start my conversations with something along the lines of "When I first had Macy" or "When Macy was first born" like normal moms do.  So why do I keep speaking like I'm not her mother?! 

::blank stare::

::thinking::

I really have no idea why.  Most of the time I don't even notice until the person I am talking to makes a smart ass comment like "Hey, she's your daughter not something you picked up at the local Wal-Mart."  Ugh, yeah, I get it.  I am an idiot and I don't even notice.....

100th Post!

Wow, I can't believe it's my 100th post (and my 3rd one of the day!).  Anyway, I came across this book and thought I would share...

Check out how hilarious some of this stuff is...

Ok, maybe I should get to work now.....

Tell me my baby is cute...or else

The last post reminded me of the time when I almost tackled an old lady while shopping with my husband.  Yes, I am not above tackling little old ladies when it comes to my baby.  Here's how the story went....

Jason and I were out shopping on a Sunday afternoon.  I agreed to go to his favorite store of all time, Surf Club Records, so he can get some new CD's.  We walk into the store with the stroller and an old lady from across the store sees us.  She makes a beeline over to the stroller, peaks her head in, kinda gives a weird look and walks away.  SHE JUST WALKED AWAY.  No comment on how adorable my baby is, no question about her age, no smile, nothing.  WTF was that?  How do you make it a point to check out my baby and not give me any feed back?  What - do you not think she is cute?  Because if that's the case then you seriously need to get your eyes checked.  Oh and I am going to kick your ass too.  All I could do was watch this lady walk away with my jaw on the floor.  It was in that instant the thought crossed my mind that I should tackle her and demand a nice comment about my baby.  Then I decided that would not be a good idea.  I mean, the press isn't always forgiving in instances like these.  The headline would probably not read in my favor.  And plus I didn't want to spend time in jail when I could be with my baby.  So I refrained.  And called her every curse word under my breath. 

Stupid B. 

Yeah, I am going to have to get over this.  People won't always be nice to my little girl.  And I can't go around kicking everyone's ass because they don't think Macy is as special as I do. 

Or can I????

OMG, they really gave me a baby?!

Sometimes I forget that Macy is my baby.  I should clarify.....I don't forget about Macy, I just forget she's mine.  It just seems so weird to me that I am a mom.  Sometimes I feel like I am just the baby sitter.  I still haven't wrapped my mind completely around that concept that I actually have a baby.  It seems so......adult.  I am 28 (about to be 29 in 4 days.  But hey, I am still going to live in denial that next week at this time I will be 1 year older and I am going to stick to the age of 28.  Not 28.999999, just 28) but I still consider myself a teenager.  Mentally that is.  Unfortunately, I look my age  ::sigh::  I just don't act it. 

Ugh, now I am off topic since I went on a tirade about my age/looks and forgot where I was.....

Oh yes, I forget that Macy is my baby.  Seriously, they actually let me have a baby?!  Wow, that's so cool.  It's like that feeling when you got your first car.  You feel so mature, so grown up.  And you wash your new car like every other day.  And sometimes you look out the window just to stare at it in the driveway.  It's such a awesome feeling to know that that's YOUR car.  Not your parents, not anyone else's, it's YOUR car!  It's like those feelings x's 100 when you become a mom.  Just this time, instead of people commenting on my sweet ride they better comment on my adorable baby (which reminds me of a topic for another blog post). 

Every night I watch my baby sleep.  I have to.  I need that moment to take it all in.  That's when it hits me the hardest that I am a mom.  I feel so lucky that they actually allowed me to take her home.  And she's all mine.  This is the most adult thing I have ever done.  And the most important one too. 

Since I don't have a recent picture of Macy I thought I would do a walk down memeory lane and include a picture from the hospital.  This one makes me smile every time.....

Boy, she is pissed!  She makes me smile so much!  I am so lucky to have her in my life!

OMG, Macy slept in her crib last night!

I say this as if Macy is the one who actually has issues sleeping in her crib.  Nope, that's not the case.  At all.  She did fine.  She couldn't care less where she sleeps.  It's me who has attachment problems.  I got up to check on her 59 gazillion times and each time she was fast asleep......without me.  I was relieved that it wasn't a battle to get her to sleep but.....::tear::....she doesn't need me to sleep. 

Ugh, I am crazy, right?  What is wrong with me?  I should be ecstatic that my child isn't so dependent on me.

I think the first week of this transition will be the hardest and after that I will ENJOY having a baby free bed.  I kinda think it will be like going back to work.  OMG, the first week of work was horrible!  But little by little it got easier to leave her.  I am hoping that's the case because our bed felt empty last night.  When I wasn't checking on Macy (and I was actually sleeping) I dreamt about her.  Seriously, I had about 10 dreams that revolved around Macy.  That's how much I missed her. 

But I'll admit it was nice to get uninterrupted sleep without an infant kicking me in the abs.  My confidence in our decision to move her was further reinforced when I got Macy out of crib at 5 AM and I found her flipped in her crib.  How does she manage to move so much while sleeping?!

Oh and yes, you read that right.  At 5 AM I caved because I couldn't make it through the whole night without Macy.  I had to have an hour of Macy snuggle time before I started my day!

In other news, Macy had her 4 month check up on Friday.  My little girl weighed 12 lbs 12 oz and was 24 inches long.  She is getting so big!  She had to have her 4 month shots which were heartbreaking.  Poor thing had no idea what was coming and then BAM, someone is jabbing needles in her legs.  She was a champ and only cried for a minute or so.  Luckily she doesn't have to have her shots again until 6 months. 

But wish me luck that I keep up our new sleeping arrangement!  It is the best for everyone involved!

Happy Birthday Macy!

Yesterday my little girl is turned 4 months old.  Where did the time go?!  It's bittersweet that she's growing up.  Don't get me wrong, I definitely get excited at every developmental milestone she hits.  It truly is awesome to watch her discover something new.  There is nothing like seeing the world for the first time through her eyes. 


But at the same time I am sad that she is growing up so fast.  Too fast.  In my mind, I still consider Macy a newborn, and that stage has come and gone.  I am doing my best to take in every moment but I am so afraid that one day I will wake up and she will be an adult. 


Deep down I wish I could keep her at 4 months old forever.  Every age she reaches I think "ok, this is the best stage, I want you to stay just the way you are".  Then she learns something new and I decide that this new stage is better than the last but again, I don't want her to grow up.

I know it's inevitable that she will grow up and become more independent.  So why do I have such a hard time with it?  It all started the day she was born.  It was the first of many instances where I would have to learn to let go.  She was no longer safe and sound in my belly.  She became her own little person that day.  I have come to discover that motherhood is full of little instances like this.  Every day she becomes more independent, more of her own person and I have to learn to accept it. 

Learning to let go will be the hardest thing for me.  I want to protect Macy from all the bad the world has to offer.  But if I do so I will be doing her a disservice.  I will have to learn to sit back and watch her fail sometimes.....even if I see it coming.  She will have to learn how to fail as well as how to pick herself up and make the best of the situation.

But for now, I will enjoy her just the way she is.  So Happy 4 Month Birthday baby!  I love you so much!  Oh, and promise not to grow up too fast!

Here is a another pic Macy's baby sitter took of her!  Isn't she beautiful!

I am a feen suffering from withdrawals

With any defining event in my life, I have trouble letting go of that moment.  Take my wedding for example.  For a good six weeks I was depressed afterwards because it was over.  I had major wedding withdrawals.  Which is ironic because during my wedding planning I was counting down the days until the big event.  I could not wait for the day to arrive!  So, why did I cry the following day after my wedding?  Because it sunk in that the day I waited so long for was over.  Poor Jason.  He had no idea why the hell I was crying.  I am sure when he saw my tears he thought I was having regrets about the marriage.  I mean, what else would he think when his new bride was crying? 


I went into this whole big thing about how even though I was crying I was really happy because we were finally married and it was the best day of my life, blah, blah, blah.  I tried to explain to him that I was sad because I wasn't planning a wedding anymore.  I missed thinking about flowers and bridesmaid dresses.  And I was jealous of every engaged woman out there because she was planning and wedding and I was not.  Basically, the more I talked the crazier I sounded.......and I talked for quite a while.  With my bizarre logic I am sure he was the one who was having regrets. 


And then there's my pregnancy.  I remember sitting on my bed crying about a week before I had Macy.  I was beginning to think I was going to be pregnant forever and I just wanted to be a normal person again.  Nothing fit, I couldn't sleep and I had major heartburn.  Oh yeah, I was 60 lbs heavier too.  I tried to distract people from my cankles and double chin with more make up and larger accessories.  I looked like an overweight drag queen and I knew it. 


While I was still in the hospital after having Macy the movie Juno came on the TV and I burst into tears because the 16 year old was pregnant and I wasn't.  Ugh, great, now I have pregnancy withdrawals.  I think Jason was in shock because I was just an emotional mess.  He made the mistake of telling me I was crazy since I was holding my day old baby and I wanted to be pregnant again.  Poor guy.  Again, I went into this long ass spiel about how I was really happy even though I was crying, blah, blah, blah.  Oh and can we start trying for another baby next week?! 


I am sure he thought I suffered from amnesia as well as some other emotional problems at that moment. 


Even now, if I see a pregnant girl I can't look directly at her because I get jealous.  The feeling has subsided a tad but still, I would like to get pregnant in the next 20 minutes.


Thankfully logic has taken over and I know it would not be smart to get pregnant for a good while.  We don't have any plans to have a baby in the near future (even though I really, really want another).  I am learning to appreciate the moment I live in now instead of waiting on a day to come or missing a day that has already passed. 


Macy has taught me how to be content......thankfully!

Dude, you put her clothes on backwards

First off, I have to say that Jason is WONDERFUL with Macy.  He is a very hands on Dad and jumps right in to offer a hand with the care of her.  In the mornings he is the one who tends to Macy while I finish getting ready for work.  I am thankful for his assistance and it makes my mornings a tad less stressful having his help.  He makes sure she's feed, has her diaper changed and gets her dressed for the new day. 

I have learned from experience to pick out Macy's outfit for the day.  Jason can pick out some....errr....how to say this nicely.....creative outfit combos when left to his own devices.  He has a hard enough time picking out something for himself to wear (thank goodness he wears a uniform to work!) let alone an outfit for the baby.   

Anyway, last week I picked out this outfit for Jason to dress Macy in......

It's a super cute outfit that my mom picked up at Nordstrom for Miss Macy.  Well, I finished getting myself ready for work and grabbed the baby to get her in the car seat when I look down and noticed that Macy has her clothes on backwards. 

Me:  Umm, Jason, why did you put her clothes on backwards? 

Jason:  Her clothes aren't on backwards.  The buttons are in the front....duh.

This is the back of the top looks like.....

It's hard to make out from the picture but there are tiny buttons on the back of the swing top.  I about died laughing because he was totally serious and in his mind it made sense.  He argued that in all of his shirts the buttons go in the front.  He doesn't own one single shirt that has buttons in the back.  So ha, I was clearly the idiot on this one.

Ugh, this type of logic would only make sense to a man.  Us women we are smart enough to figure out that the duck belongs in the front.  That would be giveaway #1.  Give away #2 would be that the back of the top is in an upside down "Y" shape to show off the cute little ruffles on the bloomers.  I mean if this was the front of the shirt wouldn't you think it's a tad revealing for a 3 month old?!  Seriously, they don't make belly shirts for 3 month olds.  

He did mention that he initially thought the outfit was a little hookerish.  You think?!   

I hope this doesn't come off as sounding like I a harping on him or don't appreciate his help.  Actually it's the exact opposite.  But it's great having him around to keep me laughing!  Ahhh, men and women are so different on many levels!

The one where I almost named my daughter Jason....

I feel like I have a million and one stories from my hospital stay when I delivered Macy. My excuse for having so many stories is I was hyped up on drugs for a majority of my stay. Also, I was a first time mom who had no idea what I was doing. That combo right there has given me plenty of material for my blog.

Anyway, I almost named my daughter Jason. No joke. The birth certificate paper work was filled out with "Jason Elwood Meier" in the baby's name section. I'm aware that the title of my blog is "and baby Jason makes 3" but that was not my actual intent. If it weren't for an observant hospital employee who called as I was checking out then Macy would instead be Jason Jr.

Like I mentioned many times before, I was hyped up on drugs for a few weeks after my C-Section. Especially in the hospital. I was taking 3 lortabs at one time. I was in no shape to place my dinner order without assistance so why I thought I could fill out the legal paper work is beyond me. Why did nobody double check the paper work I turned in?! Because I totally filled it out incorrectly.

Before Macy was born we had two names set aside. Macy for a girl and Chase for a boy. We decided this MONTHS before the delivery date but when it was time to put the name down on legal forms I totally panicked and couldn't do it. I needed more time. Self doubt kicked in and I decided I didn't want to name the baby Macy. I needed the 3 remaining days in the hospital to try to think of a new name. The hospital staff decided to give us more time to come up with a name but in the mean time they requested I fill out the forms with mine and Jason info. OK, sounds easy. I can do that. I did what I was told and filled out the mother's and father's info and left the baby's info blank......or so I thought. Apparently, I filled out the mother's info with my name, left the father's info blank and filled in the baby's info with Jason's name. Umm. Yeah. No. This was incorrect. This would have been bad.

The forms read that Katherine Noble gave birth to a baby girl named Jason Elwood Meier who had an unknown father.

Irreverent back story: At the time I was still using my maiden name. I never got around to changing my last name after I got married, which was 2.5 years prior. Whoops. They referred to my husband as Mr. Noble in the hospital. Hehehe. That was the final straw for my husband who made me change my last name to his after I was discharged. But that's another story for another time.

I filled out the paper work on the first day of my stay (when I was super doped up on drugs) and totally forgot about updating the birth certificate/social security info once we decided that Macy would be the baby's name after all. Once day four rolled around and I was ready to be discharged the paper work was the last thing on my mind.

Thankfully an observant hospital employee called to double check that I indeed wanted to name my newborn baby girl Jason. It was then I remembered I forgot to call and add the baby's name. The hospital employee said that usually they call the parents to remind them when they notice the baby's info is left blank. But stoopid me filled in the father's info in the wrong fields. If it were anyone else, who more than likely wouldn't be paying attention, they would have overlooked my mistake and filed the paper work. And I would have a daughter named Jason Elwood Meier.

OMG, could you imagine what a mess that would be to straighten out?!

So who thought it was a good idea to let me fill out the paper work in the first place? I was so hyped on drugs it wasn't even funny. Seriously, I was taking 3 lortabs at a time for the pain. Obviously I was a little loopy. But I swore I was totally cool and could manage filling out the paperwork. Umm, yeah. Next time I have a baby please nobody let me fill out the paper work!

Exactly 1 year ago today.....

I received the best news of my life. I found out I was pregnant! 1 year ago today my life completely changed. I can't believe that it was that long ago. It feels like it happened yesterday. But then again, so much has happened over the past year it feels like it was a lifetime ago. It's hard to remember my life prior to my pregnancy. Sometimes I still feel like I am in the "OMG, I just found out I am pregnant" daze - only its a year later and I am no longer pregnant. I have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl.

She is the best thing that ever happened to me. My life is filled with joy because she is in it. Sometimes I want to pinch myself to make sure it's real. I like to sit back and watch her and her daddy nap in the bed or play on the couch together. I have to hold back the tears because I can't believe this is my life. How did I get so lucky to have a healthy baby? And for her to be happy and beautiful....wow, I am truly blessed.

It's hard to process the events over the past year! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us!

Here is a picture I took this weekend of Miss Macy.....one year ago she was only a concept to me

I have a slight obesssion....

I have a slight obsession with Seersucker and Smocked Baby Clothing. I wish I had the money to buy a wardrobe for Macy that consists of nothing but seersucker and smocked clothing. I can't get over how cute little girl clothes are. I mean, there is nothing more sweet than seeing a little girl in a seersucker dress with coordinating hair bows!

I have been eyeing this dress for Macy. It's adorable but I just can't break down and spend $50 on a dress that she will only be able to wear for 3 months. It comes from one of my favorite baby clothes website Shrimp and Grits Kids.

Wouldn't it be cute paired with this hair bow from Little Lesiw

Check out this bubble suit also from Shrimp and Grits Kids. Aren't the strawberries precious?

I also recently discovered the Mud Pie Clothing Line. I love all their clothes and wish I could afford to buy Macy more of them....

As you can see, I am obsessed! Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have quit after all....

Um....dis not werking kid

This picture comes to mind when I think about Macy's sleeping situation. I think this picture is hilarious and I finally figured out a way to incorporate it into my blog. Yay! Anyway.....we were talking about Macy's sleeping situation.....yeah, it's not good. It's not good for me that is. Baby sleeps. Mama is awake all night.

I guess I should make the confession that Macy sleeps in the bed with me. She has from day one and it has worked great. Up until now. I know, I know, I deserve to be flamed because ::gasp:: I let my baby sleep in my bed. Well....I also feed her to go to sleep and that's another no-no. So there, I got everything out. Flame away.

But now Macy is more mobile, even in her sleep. Last night I woke up to her kicking me in the face. Twice. This morning I woke up and her feet were at my head. Some how she scooted her butt so much that she did a 180* flip in her sleep. This is not good on many levels. First of all, who's to say that she won't scoot her butt right off the bed. That would not be good. Plus, I would feel horrible because EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER has told me to put Macy in her crib at night. Secondly, I am not sleeping much because I am waking up to her butt in my face. I can tolerate her gassiness more so than other people's but when it's in my face I draw the line. Third, I don't want to create a monster who will never sleep in her own bed. When she is 25 and still sleeping with me I won't think it's so cute.

So why can't I get Macy out of my bed? Because I can't stand the thought of not having her next to me at night.....even if she kicks the crap out of me. I am still using my dumb excuse of it's too cold at night for her to sleep in her bed. It's not much of an argument. Especially now that it's Spring. Actually, I don't have any justification with my excuse but I am sticking to it nonetheless. Jason just rolls his eyes when hears my lame excuse (and rightfully so).

Anyway, next week I am hoping to make the transition to having Macy sleep in her crib. I have a feeling it might take ME awhile to do so and she will be just fine with the move. So wish me luck!

I will leave you with a recent picture of my daughter. Isn't she the cutest baby ever??! Gosh, I just love her to pieces! Please excuse the quality. It was taken with my cell phone!