Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Macy!

Yesterday my little girl is turned 4 months old.  Where did the time go?!  It's bittersweet that she's growing up.  Don't get me wrong, I definitely get excited at every developmental milestone she hits.  It truly is awesome to watch her discover something new.  There is nothing like seeing the world for the first time through her eyes. 

But at the same time I am sad that she is growing up so fast.  Too fast.  In my mind, I still consider Macy a newborn, and that stage has come and gone.  I am doing my best to take in every moment but I am so afraid that one day I will wake up and she will be an adult. 

Deep down I wish I could keep her at 4 months old forever.  Every age she reaches I think "ok, this is the best stage, I want you to stay just the way you are".  Then she learns something new and I decide that this new stage is better than the last but again, I don't want her to grow up.

I know it's inevitable that she will grow up and become more independent.  So why do I have such a hard time with it?  It all started the day she was born.  It was the first of many instances where I would have to learn to let go.  She was no longer safe and sound in my belly.  She became her own little person that day.  I have come to discover that motherhood is full of little instances like this.  Every day she becomes more independent, more of her own person and I have to learn to accept it. 

Learning to let go will be the hardest thing for me.  I want to protect Macy from all the bad the world has to offer.  But if I do so I will be doing her a disservice.  I will have to learn to sit back and watch her fail sometimes.....even if I see it coming.  She will have to learn how to fail as well as how to pick herself up and make the best of the situation.

But for now, I will enjoy her just the way she is.  So Happy 4 Month Birthday baby!  I love you so much!  Oh, and promise not to grow up too fast!

Here is a another pic Macy's baby sitter took of her!  Isn't she beautiful!

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